


Missing the one you love can be unnerving

by msmglove



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Body Image, Entrapta is too, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Friendship, Healthy Relationships, Hordak is an oral whore, Love, Love Confessions, Masturbation, Multi, Opression, Oral Sex, Religion, Resentment, Self-Loathing, Sex, Super Pal Trio (She-Ra)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27270886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msmglove/pseuds/msmglove
Summary: Entrapta hasn't returned from the mission to the Northern Reach yet, and Hordak is getting worried.
Relationships: Catra & Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra), Catra & Entrapta (She-Ra), Catra & Hordak (She-Ra), Catra/Scorpia (She-Ra), Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra), Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 60





	1. Your mind can be your greatest weakness

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is actually the first ever She-Ra fic I wrote after finishing the show. I was browsing through my files today when I found it decided to finish it.

Hordak was pacing around in his sanctum. He should’ve been working on the portal, but his focus was missing, and so was Entrapta. She’d still not returned from her mission from the Northern Reach. Catra had said the mission would take five days but it had already been a week. She’d managed to send him a message saying their communication was disrupted, but didn’t mention a delay. He had no way of contacting her or Entrapta.

Part of him wondered if he’d made a foolishly bad decision to send Entrapta on a mission. His heart ached at the thought that she may have been captured by rebels or killed in battle. While she was admirably smart, she was by no means a fighter. She’d never received the extensive training others in the Horde had and she would be an easy target. Although, Hordak couldn’t help but admire the strength of her prehensile hair. It would make a great weapon for a warrior. 

He smiled at the realisation that Entrapta could do anything she put her mind to, she was just that amazing. 

He picked up a tracker pad and tried dialling the Northern Reach again, but with no success. He angrily smacked his fist into the table. His breathing was heavy and his hands were shaky. A sense of helplessness had engulfed his whole existence and he couldn’t shake it off. 

“What is wrong with you?” He muttered to himself. “She is fine, she will be fine.” 

Hordak tried to calm down by reminding himself that Entrapta was in the care of his two best force captains and that, if they were captured, he’d have probably heard by now. He knew he cared for Entrapta, and he knew he valued her for more than just her brilliant mind. She was the first person to show him kindness, something he’d never experienced once during his time with the galactic Horde. Unlike Prime, Entrapta wasn’t repulsed by his defective body and snarly personality. Instead, she’d taken the time to create something to make him more comfortable. She called him his friend, probably the only friend he has ever had. Hordak’d become familiar with the concept of friendship when he crashed on Etheria, and he’d seen cadets in the Horde have friends: another being with whom you connect on an emotional level with. He knew friends also hung out together and did things they find mutually enjoyable. Hordak loved discussing and doing science with Entrapta, and they had often stayed up late talking about other things, personal adventures, space, and their pasts. That had made them extremely close friends. 

So close that he even felt comfortable enough to hug her one night before bed. It wasn’t planned, Entrapta had just finished making improvements to his armour to allow him greater movement in his arms. He was so pleased with the work that he couldn’t contain his joy, so he leaned over and impetuously wrapped his arms around her tiny form. He still wasn’t sure where he learned this new behaviour, maybe Force Captain Scorpia rubbed off on him. She was always hugging Entrapta and Catra as a way to commemorate happy moments. Entrapta had returned the embrace and Hordak had found himself engulfed by her. It was surprising as she didn’t enjoy being touched, and her hair was always the preferred choice for initiating interaction. But that one time was different. She’d willingly pressed her whole body against him and used her arms to pull herself closer to him. He remembered the look she’d shot him, confident, wanting, and slightly confounded. He also remembered that tight sensation in his stomach, something he’d so rarely experienced. He was not a fool by all means and he knew how some Etherian Horde friendships turned out. He did want Entrapta, that much he knew, but he was too much of a coward to do anything about it. Not to mention how shameful he felt thinking about her in an amative way. In the galactic Horde, exhibition of sexuality was forbidden, it served no purpose. Prime had inflicted severe punishments to those who participated in it. A flashback raced through Hordak’s mind of the time Prime caught him pining over one of his prisoners. When Hordak had made the mistake of staring at him for a little bit too long, Prime forced him to witness his execution. 

But Prime was not here on Etheria, or on this dimension. There was nothing he could do to stop him. Hordak imagined how wonderful he’d make Entrapta feel, treat her like the queen she is, if she could only look past his… imperfections. 

With this intrusive thought he snapped from his daydreaming and retreated to his inner sanctum. There, he removed his armour and collapsed on the hard bed. He was in a lot of pain, his joints were tired from overworking and his back ached from the tension. He knew he needed his medication, so after a minute’s rest he plucked up the last piece of strength he had and stood up to walk to his medical cabinet. He growled as the needle with analgesic pierced him once again, a feeling he would never get used to. 

With a slight relief that this was over for today, he sighed as he started preparing for rest. He didn’t need sleep, but he knew resting his body without his armour would be good for him. He tried to be mindful, and taking deep breaths, focusing his thoughts. But, his mind quickly paved way for thoughts of Entrapta. Her soft body pressed against his, tendrils of hair tightening around his limps as he sucks and bites on the sensitive skin of her neck. He imagined the little moans she’d make if he moved to taste other parts of her body. Then, he’d have her spread on top of him and fill her until she is a shaking hot mess screaming his name...

His elusive daydreaming was cut short by the sound of his tracker pad. Catra appears on the screen to tell him that they are on their way back, and that their mission was a success. A sense of relief rushes through him before it is overtaken by the frustration in his crotch. Of course it is there, reminding him of his lustful inappropriate desires towards his lab partner. Maybe he can make it go away, then he can go back to work. He reaches over and strokes himself gently and it feels good. But, it feels even more appeasing when he imagines Entrapta doing it. She’d look so good taking his cock in her pretty little mouth. With the thought of her moaning on her knees, Hordak feels himself nearing an orgasm. But he doesn’t proceed, as guilt suddenly overwhelms him and Prime appears, in this now nightmare of his. He is shaking his head in disappointment and chiding him for being so weak and primal. 

Hordak realised he cannot bring himself to do this while thinking of Entrapta this way. After a few minutes of contemplation, he decided that it is time to start the day again. He rose from the bed and walked over to prepare his armour, his now semi boner saddening in his crotch. He stopped to stare at his body in the mirror on the way, a thing he did more and more often. The discolouration in his arms and back had increased. He once again thought of Entrapta, how wonderfully confident she made him feel. She wasn’t mortified when she saw him without his armour, instead she had accepted him how he was. He remembered her telling him one night that he shouldn’t be ashamed of his body, that it doesn’t matter that he was ‘not right’ by Prime’s standards, because he was beautiful the way he was. He plucked up the courage to take off his tunic, just to quickly observe himself. He looked at the figure standing in front of him: worn, tired and weak. His eye make-up was smudged from the sporadic crying episodes he experienced while alone in his sanctum. His muscles were well defined, he thought, but not big. No matter how hard he worked out and consumed only the most appropriate nutrition, his illness prevented them to grow. He was shaking without his support and collapsed on the chair behind him.  
“She will never want this.” He hunched forward, clenching his fist tightly in his stomach. “Not like I want her.”


	2. Masturbate the existential crisis away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to extend this a bit as I got carried away writing, and I want this to turn out wholesome.

Hordak rose from his cold bed, the light of early morning mocking him through the tiny crack in the curtains. Time definitely flies by when you spent your nights lucidly dreaming of the woman who suddenly appeared in your life and made you question everything he knew about the universe; and that is a lot. 

Entrapta should be returning later today, and the lab will once again be full of her laughter and beautiful energy. He will get to see that infatuating smile once again and that thought was enough motivation for him to get up and get ready for the day. 

After adjusting his armour, Hordak settled on his vanity table. Grabbing his usual black liquid eyeliner, he began drawing those sharp edges he liked around his eyes. He carefully examined his work with a smile, it looked great. He was happy that today of all days he did a good job. Some days, however, his make-up wasn’t working out. Maybe it was the new eye primer he’d invented yesterday. He wondered if he could quickly make some purple glitter to apply as eyeshadow to compliment the crystal on his chest. He may experiment with it later, now he had a lot of work to catch up on. 

He got up and proudly walked out of his inner sanctum, feeling confident in himself. But a few minutes later, he ran back in to look in the mirror. Maybe he ought to try something new with his hair. Usually, the blue strands naturally fell to one side, but he wondered if he should give a fringe a go. He scooped some styling gel and combed his hair to one side, taking care to straighten even the slightest curve that may distort the look. The fringe complimented his look well and Hordak decided to try it out for a day, despite the skepticism of its practicality. 

Today, he was planning to do some genetic coding on the embryos in the vitrine. If one of them were to develop and replace his defective body, he wanted to make sure it is insusceptible to chronic conditions, both mental and physical. An added bonus was that, if it did work, maybe Entrapta would find him aesthetically pleasing and she would want him in the same way he wants her when he looks at her. 

Enthusiastically extracting some amniotic fluid, Hordak began decoding the DNA strands. It would take a while, but luckily all he had to do was run a 100-line code and let the machine do its job. In the meantime, he could go and work on the space-time equations he and Entrapta hadn’t figured out yet to get their portal working. 

The genetic extractor quickly started processing the amniotic sample, but the rattling sound emanating from it indicated trouble. Shutting the process down, Hordak dismantled the machine to investigate. Just as he suspected, a fan had come loose and broken off. It needed replacement to avoid overheating, so he walked over to get spare parts from the cupboard at the other end of the sanctum. 

Upon opening the double doors, a wave of metal bolts, tools, cupcakes and stuffed toys dropped over his head and buried his feet. Kicking the little nuisances away, Hordak realised that this was Entrapta’s work. Of course, she never put things away and her idea of tidying up was getting Emily to stuff them in a cupboard nobody went in. Looking at the mess on the floor, Hordak wondered what he will do with all of it, nothing was useful to him, but Entrapta might want her plushy cat toys. He decided he will get Kyle to clean it up later today. 

As he kicked the clutter away from his feet, a curious object was revealed. Entrapta’s old gloves. They’d been discarded because of the patchy burns from that one time she touched a heated particle accelerator. If it wasn’t for the thick fabric to absorb the impact, her fingertips would have been dissolved. 

He really shouldn’t have done it, he had work to do, yet he picked up the little item of clothing and brought it to his nose. The scent of burnt synthetic fabric dominated the outside, but once he folded over the garment, the soft velvety lining smelled exactly of Entrapta. The hands she had used to work her inventions were hidden in these layers. 

Hordak had never gotten a closer look at Entrapta's hands apart from the times she had hurt herself and he had to provide first aid. They always seemed like such an intimate part of her body, she never exposed them to the world. The opportunity to examine them in all their naked glory had never appeared to him, but he had wondered many times what the bare skin would feel like to touch. Someday, he’d love to intertwine his gigantic fingers with hers and just appreciate the transfer of heat from her organic body to his. 

It was unlikely that Entrapta would ever give him that opportunity though. However, he could pretend, couldn’t he. 

Hordak brought the little item of clothing to his face and buried his nose in it. Her smell was addictive, despite being contaminated with the scent of combusted chemicals. He couldn’t wait for her to return so he could have more of it, even if it was just a causal whiff in the air. He bit down on the velvety fabric as he relished the taste of skin oils left from Entrapta. He imagined what it’d be like to actually tease the senses of this precious body part of hers. Would she flinch if he nibbled on her fingertips, or would little giggles quickly escape her if his fangs scraped those sensitive palms.

Clutching the gloves harder, he let his talon run along his neck and down to his chest while thinking of Entrapta’s naked fingers caressing him, a touch so tender and soft he could get drunk of it. Could his cold bionic body even handle something so warm and tender. Should he ever be so lucky to be Entrapta’s chosen one, he'd give her everything he has, that much he knew for sure. He’d surrender to her touch and let her do whatever she wanted to him, even if it burned. There is not a thing in the universe he would deny her. 

During his whole existence by Prime’s side he had never experienced such immense feelings of desire. Could his feelings towards Entrapta be what Etherians call love? Surely not. The only love he has is for his omnipotent saviour. Prime is the one and only being that matters in the universe and any savagely urges beyond the desire to serve him are a punishable offence. 

Yet, this little native made him question his motives. Maybe there was more to life than serving Prime, the supposedly all-loving God who sent him to die because of his disability. Could he be truly happy and content living on this magic planet with Entrapta for the rest of eternity. He could use his extensive knowledge to teach her and other science-hungry enthusiasts everything he knows about the universe. The rest of the time he’d spend basking in her love, love that would not be conditional on him overcoming his imperfections. 

Hordak gasped as he brushed the side of his hip. In a perfect universe, Entrapta’s bare hands would be holding him in place as she plants little kisses up his thigh, working her way up to his member. Growling a bit louder, he cheekily moved the hand still holding the gloves over his crotch. Rubbing them over the thin fabric protecting his decency, he hummed as he continued his day dreaming. Her tiny form tightly pressed against him, tendrils of hair intertwining with his limbs until she is the only thing his senses can feel. Yes, that’d be his idea of heaven, she was his idea of heaven.

However, was this what Entrapta would want as well? Had she not been very clear from the beginning that the reason she joined the Horde was to work on opening a portal so she could make scientific discovery possible. Perhaps she is only nice to him because he is useful in relevant experience and knowledge. Although she too had confided in him about the struggles she’s faced in this world, she still had clear goals that did not involve a romantic relationship with him. Her hunger for knowledge was surely stronger than a glorified love story. Not to mention that Hordak was an alien, with fangs and sharp claws, she may not even be into that. Yes, their relationship was purely professional and anything beyond it was Hordak’s imagination attempting to mask the suffocating feeling of loneliness that had dominated his existence since being banished. 

He questionably opened one eye to look down at his crotch. While he was not visibly aroused anymore, he knew he’d be frustrated for the rest of the day if he didn’t do something about it. This, Entrapta, was a distraction and he needed to take care of it. It certainly wouldn’t take long, and the benefit of it would be that these new, idiotic thoughts of his lab partner would disappear once he satisfies his cravings. It was also good to do it before she returns, so he won’t get distracted by her presence more than he normally did. Then, he could go back to working on the portal and Prime would surely reward him for choosing faith and devotion over happiness. 

Hordak settled on a metal chair behind his work bench and brought the gloves to his nose. Giving them one final sniff, he pulled his shaft from his tunic and gave it a comforting stroke. He hummed in satisfaction as he sped up his movements. This pathetic item of clothing was certainly helping a bit, but it was never going to be nearly enough. He’d have to compensate with his imagination. 

He let his thoughts run wild, for in his mind anything was possible. He wondered if Entrapta would enjoy being taken in his throne room. While she was a Goddess deserving of million worships, Hordak couldn’t help thinking about how pretty she’d look summoned to kneel between his legs, stripped of every item of clothing. No, every item but one. Those mysterious gloved hands are for him to unravel. He’d hold her in place and slowly use his teeth to peel the garment off her. Then, he’d bring her to his crotch and let her play with his erect phallus. That’d be the ultimate enjoyment, to be the first thing her naked hands touch apart from herself. If they were capable of creating marvellous inventions, they’d surely work like magic on him. 

While she won’t be able to take his whole length in her mouth, she’d certainly compensate with enthusiastic strokes down his shaft as her tongue works his head. Sloppy sounds combined with her little moans would fill the empty room as she brings him closer to orgasm. But he wouldn't be so quick to finish, no, he’d savour her for as long as he can. Putting her on his lap, he’d stroke the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs before he inserts a finger inside her. He’d make sure she is suitably wet and aroused before he takes her, because nothing would feel better than seeing her enjoy herself. He’d touch all the right spots and curl his fingers at just the right time to make her scream. And once she is ready for him, he’d spread her over his lap, hold her hips and guide her on his cock. He’d be fascinated to see how much of him she can take considering their size difference. She’d make the most beautiful sounds while bouncing up and down him, her walls tightening around his member as she nears climax. 

With the image of Entrapta screaming his name in sheer pleasure, Hordak brought himself over the edge. Panting heavily, he looked down at the hand covered in his genetic material. While a slight sense of relief rushed through him, the realisation that all he wanted was to have Entrapta here to hold against him creeped in. To have her wrapped around him, feeling her hitched breath against his neck as she rides the remains of her orgasm, that would be perfect. 

Hordak sighed in discontent that his thirst for her could not in fact be quenched through simple self-pleasure. He’d need to resort to other measures, ones involving a more hands-on approach. Keeping the gloves would be a good idea, Entrapta won’t notice them missing. But for now, he had to think of a quick way to clean himself up, because the faint hissing of the sanctum doors only meant one thing. Entrapta was back, and she was back early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.s. I am aware that the Northern Reach episode is before Entrapta builds Hordak his new armour, but I really wanted to explore Entrapta's friendships with Catra and Scorpia in future chapters, so take this as an AU. Also, while I am a scientist, I am not a bioinformatician or a physicist and I have no idea how particle acceleration works, so read it as sci-fi. Alternatively, if you have been to Cern feel free to tell me if it gets hot!

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter there will be action. They are my favourite ship but I find it difficult to write about them.


End file.
